search
top
Currently Browsing: Marriage

Ten Facts Men Should Consider About Their Wife

Ten Facts Men Should Consider About Their Wife

#1 – Before she was your wife she was God’s daughter…and He is VERY concerned about how someone treats His girl!

#2 – Women are responders, so if there is friction/conflict in the relationship she is most likely responding to something that is off center…and it is going to take an actual conversation where you use words to figure out what it is.

#3 – If a man will not lead his family then satan will!  (See Genesis 3!)

#4 – One of the biggest questions that a woman is always asking of her husband is, “can I trust you with my heart?”  And the answer to this question is not simply declared but rather demonstrated over time.

#5 – Every word you speak has meaning to your wife…and HOW you say those words carry even more meaning.

#6 – No woman responds well to condemnation…and if we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loves the church, and there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1) then we MUST watch our words carefully.

#7 – It is a spiritual impossibility for an angry husband to love his wife like Jesus loves the church.

#8 – Your wife LOVES to know you are thinking about her during the day.

#9 – Surfing the internet or playing games on your smart phone while she is sitting next to you on the couch is NOT romantic.

#10 – Pursuit must be intentional!  You did not accidentally fall in love…and you will not accidently stay in love!

See the original post at http://perrynoble.com/blog/ten-facts-men-should-consider-about-their-wife

 

Steve Farrar – Man of Courage

Who is Steve Farrar?

Steve Farrar | Man of Courage

Steve Farrar | Man of Courage

When it comes to consistent male Christian authors, Steve Farrar would have to be high on the list.

After dedicating 15 years to serve as the pastor of a local church and speaking infrequently at conferences, Steve was called to his next step in ministry – helping Christian men get connected back to their Father God, and equipping them to be everything God calls them to be.

Steve has written many books over the years, including:

  • Point Man
  • Anchor Man (no, this was long before the comedy!)
  • Battle Ready
  • True Courage
  • King Me
  • How to Ruin Your Life by 40
  • Men Leading the Charge
  • Real Valor
  • Gettin There, and
  • Standing Tall

I own and have read (at least once!) the first five, and will be adding the others to my collection in time.

What I love about Steve is his genuine style, his openness and his willingness to share – share what’s really on his heart, what God has taught him along the way, and some of the “hard lessons” he’s learned that we can avoid.

My Latest Steve Farrar Read

The most recent book I read, King Me, captured my attention from start to finish. Men, if you have sons & ever wondered about how much you were really influencing them? You need to read this book! Steve unpacks the lives of David and Solomon (and other prominent Biblical leaders) and demonstrates the effects their own fathering had… not only upon their sons, but their families for generations.

I found myself reading out whole pages to my wife Renee, and loved seeing her response as she saw my mind expand, my personal views stretched, but at the same time many of my beliefs and suspicions confirmed.

And as with any book I’ve read by Steve, you’ll find plenty of Biblical references to backup his opinions or recommendations – much like John Macarthur.

Glen’s video Summary of Steve Farrar

And yes… I know… my neck & shoulders do funky twitching in the video (due to poor lighting on that part of my green screen. And I brought the audio up too quickly at the end… but hey, this is me fighting my perfectionism, to just get something published & uploaded!!! 🙂 Hopefully you can see through the technical shortcomings & just focus on the content!

Where to Find Steve Farrar’s Books

You can find Steve Farrar’s materials in most Christian book stores (online or even the old fashioned type!) or directly from Amazon:

[easyazon-image align=”left” asin=”B005IUHEC4″ locale=”us” height=”75″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51jJaPyxZDL._SL75_.jpg” width=”50″][easyazon-image align=”left” asin=”1434768694″ locale=”us” height=”75″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2BXC5xMgDL._SL75_.jpg” width=”50″][easyazon-image align=”left” asin=”1590521269″ locale=”us” height=”75″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51wKwkRNU5L._SL75_.jpg” width=”47″][easyazon-image align=”left” asin=”0785268170″ locale=”us” height=”75″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41TMqR%2BCc4L._SL75_.jpg” width=”49″]


 

You can check out Steve Farrar’s website for even more related resources.

The Dirty Socks that Almost Killed My Marriage

By Sam Crowe

Antony and I sat down to dinner a few weeks ago with some friends, a married couple, from interstate that we hadn’t seen face to face for over 2 years. We realised that we hadn’t shared a big part of our lives with them – the near implosion and then miraculous transformation of our marriage.

 

In a frank, open, loving conversation we shared the details of our marriage breakdown, they asked questions, and we all discussed together. Within that I was able to articulate how I had felt in our marriage three years ago. In a nutshell I would say that although Antony said he loved me, and I believed that he thought he loved me… I didn’t feel loved. Then came the critical question of the night, “What was the catalyst, or the big thing that you could put it all down to?”

“He left his dirty socks inside out in the dirty clothes basket.”

 

Silence.

 

More silence with quizzical looks. Followed by a round of silence.

 

He didn’t turn his dirty socks the right way round? That’s right, there was no adultery, there was no abuse, he frequently tried to use my love language to fill my “love tank”, he was a ‘hands-on’ Dad, he did a lot of work around the house and he was the most prolific vacuumer you could ever meet. How is it possible that despite all this, I could say I didn’t feel loved because he left his socks inside out?

 

Allow me to give some background. I spent three years working with teenage girls as a housemistress at a boarding school. One thing I learnt very clearly was that when you had a request or a command you had better make sure you also had a reasonable and well thought out response to the inevitable question, “Why?” And a little more relevant background – my husband is a fire fighter and he does a lot of physical training at work and at home. Ergo, his socks are always sweaty, sometimes smelly and particularly disgusting if they have been sitting at the bottom of the dirty clothes basket for a couple of days.

 

Not too many years into our marriage I made the request that he turn his socks the right way round before putting them in the dirty clothes basket. I followed this request with the very reasonable and well thought out basis for my request, “It’s really gross to put my hand into your inside-out socks because they are all sweaty, and I need to turn the socks the right way round because you wear them outside without shoes and they don’t come out of the wash as clean if I wash them inside out,” (or words to that effect).

 

Six years on I was making the same request with the same reasoning verbalised. I was also receiving the same response – inside-out socks followed by a variety of excuses. From our courting days I told Antony that I didn’t want to be a nagging wife and he fully supported me in this decision!! I was now in a bind. I didn’t want to nag, but I wanted the behaviour to change.

 

I can almost hear some men saying as they read this article, “What’s the big deal, turn the socks the right way round and wash your hands afterwards.” Or perhaps, “You are supposed to serve like Jesus, stop complaining and get over it. It could be much worse and you are just getting worked up over socks.”

 

Now I’m going to speak very frankly. Men, when your wife asks something of you repeatedly and you do not fulfil her request what you are saying to her is, “What is important to you is not important to me.” And whether you like it or not, whether you agree with me or not, what she hears from you is, “You are not important to me.” It’s that simple. It is that black and white. This is the whole point of this article. If your wife is a nag, please re-read this paragraph.

 

Of course you will tell her that you love her and you will point out all the other stuff you do that is important to you but less important to her, to prove to her that you love her.

 

In the end, the issue wasn’t about the actual socks at all. It was about what they represented. I made a reasonable request to my husband and he ignored it on a daily basis for six years. I didn’t feel loved.

 

Men, are you being nagged by your wives over insignificant things like socks? Does your wife complain about the way you do (or don’t do) something? Does she nag you because you “don’t listen” or “have communication issues”? This issue is not the communication, it’s what you are doing with the information. You now have a choice to make: to serve your wife or to continue to serve yourself and pretend it’s her problem (check out Ephesians 5:25-27 for some biblical input on this).

 

I’m very pleased to inform you that my story has a happy ending. I am blessed that Antony has a teachable heart and that eventually (with the assistance of others) he realised that all the vacuuming in the world doesn’t assure me of his love if spotless floors are not important to me. He now turns his socks the right way round (most of the time) and is greatly enjoying the benefits of a happy, beloved wife.

 

What Does It Mean For A Husband To Love And Lead Like Jesus?

This 13 min video elaborating on Ephesians  5 provides some powerful insight into how men can lead according to God’s word.

It’s a massive call to live up to but one that is a tremendous privilege, I could not recommend strongly enough take the time to watch this video.

 

 

Works Like a Charm

Men I read this story today and I thought it was a great practical eg of discipling a daughter.

If you are a Dad of a son you may like to consider how you can instill this kind of respect and and love in him.

The Charm Bracelet
fiction by Sarah Kistler

Sweet 16 had finally come! I never thought I‘d make it. But I did. And it was amazing. My parents threw the birthday party of the century, and I had more people than I could count. The whole day had been awesome. But as I watched the sun begin to set, I knew the best part was soon to come.

It was late in the evening. Confetti had been swept up, helium balloons had started to sag and gift wrap had been folded neatly and tucked away for my mom’s later use. As I sat at my window studying the dusky sky, Dad peeked into my room with a smile.

“Ready to go, Sweetie?” he asked.

Was that a trick question? I wondered as I scrambled to my feet. I’d been waiting for this night for five long years, and it was finally here! I was now officially allowed to date!

The plan was for my parents and me to go to my favorite restaurant on the night of my 16th birthday and officiate the agreement, go over standards and discuss rules and such. And now we were finally on our way.

I sat across from my parents in a quiet corner booth. Having just placed our orders, I figured it was time to get on with it. “So. I can go out with any guy I want to, right?” I squealed, hardly able to contain my excitement.

Mom and Dad chuckled. Dad answered, “Well, we agreed to that, didn’t we?”

“Sweet!” I exclaimed, doing a little victory dance in my seat. My parents had held me off for years, but now that the time had come, they would let me date any guy I wanted! Of course they knew I had a good relationship with God and wasn’t too short on common sense, either.

“Now wait just a second,” Mom interrupted with a smile. “You have to agree to a little something yourself.”

I was expecting a lecture of some sort, so I was already prepared. “So what do I have to do now?” I asked, leaning forward on my elbows.

“Just open this,” Dad answered, producing a small white box. He gave a mysterious smile.

One Little Rule
I hesitated a moment before untying the curly pink ribbon. I slowly opened the lid and saw a beautiful silver bracelet. But not just any bracelet. It was a charm bracelet. And they weren’t just any charms. They were gemstones, small but gorgeous. A dozen dainty charms dangled gently.

“Wow.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t expecting this at all.

“Now you have to understand this isn’t just any bracelet,” Mom informed me.

“I know,” I said. “It’s so beautiful!” I studied it closer. There were six small charms alternating with six tinier ones. The smaller ones were a deep blue. Sapphires, I guessed. And the other six were each different. One appeared to be just a rock, one was pink, a white one, a red one, green . . . and was that a diamond?

“This charm bracelet is symbolic,” Dad explained, leaning in closer to study it with me. “It represents you and your purity. This is what will guide you through your dating relationships. Your mother and I can only tell you what’s right. We can’t make you believe it yourself. Hopefully, this will.”

I looked up solemnly. “I’m listening.”

“This represents the first time you hold a guy’s hand,” Mom said, pointing to the gray one. “It’s just a piece of polished granite. Seemingly cheap, yes, but it’s still a part of your bracelet. This is pink quartz.” She gently rubbed the next one between her fingers. “It represents your first kiss.”

“This green one is an emerald,” Dad continued. “This is your first boyfriend. The pearl is the first time you say ‘I love you’ to a man other than me.”

I giggled. This was so amazing.

“The ruby stands for your first engagement. And the diamond represents the first time you say ‘I do,’ ” Mom finished.

After letting it all sink in, I cleared my emotion-clogged throat. “What do the six tiny sapphires stand for?” I asked.

“Those are to remind you how beautiful and valuable you are to us and to God,” Dad replied. “Now here’s the hitch in all this, the one and only rule you’ll ever have to follow when it comes to dating.”

Only one rule. Sounded good. But little did I know . . .

“Whenever you give one these actions of love-a kiss, an ‘I love you,’ a hand to hold-you also have to give the recipient the gem to match.”

I must’ve misunderstood. “I have to give him the gem?”

“You have to give it to him,” Mom restated.

I was silent for a moment. I thought they must be joking. But they weren’t even thinking of cracking a smile.

“But Daddy!” I suddenly shrieked. “These are insanely expensive! I can’t just give them away!”

He gave a soft, loving chuckle. “Did you hear what you just said?”

I thought about it.

“Baby, your purity, your heart, they’re far more valuable than a few little rocks. If you can’t find it in your heart to give away your little charms, I don’t think you should be giving away the things they represent.”

I could feel my insides melting, ready to gush out my tear ducts. On the one hand, it made me feel valuable and precious. But on the other, it made me furious. It made no sense. But it would.

 

Priceless Gems
A few weeks after that night, I was hanging out with my friends at the beach. Chad wouldn’t swim because I wouldn’t swim. I was more interested in reading than getting caked with sand, and he was more interested in sitting with me than swimming with his buddies. He was sweet. He was cute. And he tried to hold my hand.

I was thrilled for a nanosecond when a certain piece of ugly granite flashed through my mind and made me move out of his reach. I was severely annoyed-annoyed at my parents, annoyed at my bracelet-turned-handcuffs, but most of all, annoyed at myself. I was letting a little rock dominate my romantic life.

I furiously glared at it during the whole embarrassing walk to the bathhouse. But then God hit me upside the head with a shocking epiphany. I couldn’t give up my little chunk of granite. It was a part of my bracelet, which in a sense made it a part of me. I wouldn’t be whole without it. It wasn’t a priceless gem, yet it was still valuable. It made sense after that.

Kevin came along eventually. We had fun. We hung out a lot. I thought I might love him. I thought I might tell him so. I thought of my pearl. It turned out that I didn’t love him as much as I thought I did.

So my parents had been right. They couldn’t make me believe the things they wanted me to believe. So they let God and my bracelet do the work instead. Among the four of them, I figured out how valuable I was. How valuable my purity was. How not valuable guys were who just wasted my time and emotions. If they weren’t in it for the whole bracelet, why should they get one part of it?

Nate. He thought my bracelet was awesome. So he never tried to hold my hand. He never tried to kiss me. But he asked me to marry him.

I never knew that so many years of torture could amount to so much happiness. I’d thought it was silly. I’d thought it was overrated. But now, I‘ve never been more glad of anything in my life. As I gave my husband the charm bracelet in its entirety, I wondered why I had found it so hard to hang on to those little rocks when it was so amazing to give them all to the man I truly loved.

But it didn’t end there. Now our daughter wears it.

« Previous Entries

top