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What Is A Complimentarian John Piper

What Is A Complimentarian John Piper

Great teaching from John Piper a man I greatly respect,


If you want to download or listen to Audio only follow this link our differences


This is an extract that I found a helpful illustration


“Second, let me create an illustration to portray some of the differences between manhood and womanhood. A picture may be worth a thousand words — even a word picture. Suppose among the young adults at the Downtown Campus a young man and woman — say 20-years old — find themselves chatting before the worship service. He likes what he hears and sees, and says, “Are you sitting with anyone?” They sit together. They notice how each engages with God in worship.

When the service is over, as they are leaving, he says, “Do you have any lunch plans? I’d love to treat you to lunch.” At that point she can signal she is not interested, “I do have some plans. But thanks.” Or she can signal the opposite: “I do, but let me make a call. I think I can change them. I’d love to go.”

Neither has a car, so he suggests they walk to Maria’s Café down on Franklin Avenue, about 10 minutes from the church. As they walk he finds out that she has a black belt in martial arts, and that she is one of the best in the state. At 19th Street two men block their way ominously and say, “Pretty girl friend you’ve got there. We’d like her purse and your wallet. In fact, she’s so pretty we’d like her.” The thought goes through his head: “She can whip these guys.” But instead of stepping behind her, he takes her arm, pulls her back behind him, and says, “If you’re going to touch her, it will be over my dead body.”

When they make their move, he tackles them both and tells her to run. They knock him unconscious, but before they know what hit them, she has put them both on their backs with their teeth knocked out. And a little crowd has gathered. The police and ambulance come and she gets in the ambulance with the young man. And she has one main thought on the way to the hospital: This is the kind of man I want to marry.

Not About Competency

The main point of that story is to illustrate that the deeper differences of manhood and womanhood are not superior or inferior competences. There are rather deep dispositions or inclinations written on the heart, albeit often very distorted. Notice three crucial things.

First, he took the initiative and asked if he could sit with her and if she would go to lunch and suggested the place and how to get there. She saw clearly what he was doing, and responded freely according to her desires. She joined the dance. This says nothing about who has superior competences in planning. God writes the impulse to lead on a man’s heart. And the wisdom to discern it and enjoy it on a woman’s.

Second, he said that he wanted to treat her to lunch. He’s paying. This sends a signal. “I think that’s part of my responsibility. In this little drama of life, I initiate, I provide.” She understands and approves. She supports the initiative and graciously accepts the offer to be provided for. She takes the next step in the choreography. And it says nothing about who is wealthier or more capable of earning. It is what God’s man feels he must do.

Third, it is irrelevant to the masculine soul that a woman he is with has greater self-defending competencies. It is his deep, God-given, masculine impulse to protect her. It is not a matter of superior competency. It is a matter of manhood. She saw it. She did not feel belittled by it, but honored, and she loved it.

At the heart of mature manhood is the God-given sense (disposition, inclination) that the primary responsibility (not sole responsibility) lies with him when it comes to leadership-initiative, provision, and protection. And at the heart of mature womanhood is the God-given sense (disposition, inclination) that none of this implies her inferiority, but that it will be a beautiful thing to come along side such a man and gladly affirm and receive this kind of leadership and provision and protection.

What is Complementarianism? (by Geoff Ashley of the village church)


What is Complementarianism?

SUMMARY: While being absolutely equal in personhood and dignity, man and woman are distinct in their roles in the home and church. This position is to be distinguished from both ancient patriarchy that often neglects the equality of the sexes and egalitarianism which neglects the clear Scriptural role distinctions

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.Genesis 1:27

The Village Church is complementarian in our understanding of manhood and womanhood.1 To put it most succinctly, we believe that while being absolutely equal in personhood and dignity, man and woman are distinct in regards to roles in the home and church. This position is to be distinguished from both ancient patriarchy which often neglects the equality of the sexes and egalitarianism which neglects the clear Scriptural role distinctions.

Scripture dedicates much space to the affirmation of the equality of men and women in regards to worth, nature and substance. This means that man and woman are essentially, naturally and substantially equal before God and each other. Any interpretation of the biblical text must be free from misogyny or unwarranted and naïve assumptions of male dominance or superiority. This is made clear in such passages as:

Although man and woman are equal, it is not true that there are no commanded role distinctions. Rather, the Scriptures teach that we each have proper roles in the home and church. It is our belief that confusion of these roles will result not only in a sinful application of the biblical text, but, consequently, the loss of joy in our pursuit of Christ.

Distinction within the home revolves around the idea of the headship of a man over his wife. This headship is not to be exercised as dominating and oppressive authority, but rather servant leadership. Such a pattern is seen in the following passages:

The husband is called to serve and sacrifice for his wife as an expression of his love for her. At the same time, the wife is called to submit to and respect her husband as an expression of her love for him. In this way they complement each other. Though equal, they have distinct roles in their homes.

Likewise, man and woman have some level of distinction within the context of the church. The texts upon which these distinctions are based include:

As we understand the issue, there are certain contexts in which women are not allowed to teach (1 Timothy 2:12). This prohibition cannot be universal however as Paul specifically calls for older women to teach younger (Titus 2:3-4). Indeed, we even have an example of a woman teaching a man in the story of Priscilla and Apollos (Acts 18:26).

In addition to the above, we also recognize that women are not to be put into the positions of ultimate authority within the context of the local church. As we are elder-led, we therefore restrict eldership to males who meet all of the pertinent qualifications (1 Timothy 3, Titus 1).

Though space will not allow for us to address all of the concerns related to this issue, we would like to comment briefly on the position which claims that all of the Scriptural role distinctions are cultural in nature. According to this interpretation, any alleged distinctions in the text are merely a result of or concession to the surrounding patriarchal culture. Therefore, as times and cultural mores change, so should our application of the relevant Scriptures.

In response, it is interesting to note that the divinely inspired authors of Scripture do not argue from the perspective of culture. Rather, they argue for role distinctions on the basis of Christ’s relationship to the Father (1 Corinthians 11:3), His relationship to the church (Ephesians 5:22-25), creation (1 Timothy 2:12- 131 Corinthians 11:8-9), the fall (1 Timothy 2:14) and law (1 Corinthians 14:34). Suffice to say that such grounds for Paul’s argument go well beyond the cultural bias position. The distinctions in role are grounded in who we were created to be and who we are and are a reflection of our relationship to our Creator.

Given this very brief overview of complementarian theology, it behooves the reader to familiarize him or her self with the material presented in the various supplemental materials mentioned above if they have any questions.

© 2007 The Village Church. All rights reserved.


1 See also the teachings and “The Role of Women” by Matt Chandler and “A Theology of Manhood and Womanhood” by Geoff Ashley.

Mars Hill’s “Real Marriage” Series

What is a “real marriage”?

Is a “real marriage” two people living under the same roof, living separate lives? Is it a constant battle? Is it meant to be peaceful and harmonious at all times? Are there meant to be disagreements?

Well, it’s been said the best way to love your kids is to show them how you love your wife. Problem is, how many men today actually know HOW to love their wives, and therefore have a “real marriage”?

The Bible makes it pretty clear – that we should lay down our lives for our wives, as Christ lay down his life for the Church. This is sacrificial love of the highest kind! Yet with increasing divorce rates (both inside and outside the Church) it’s evident that this calling is being unheard, or ignored.

Even for Christian men, the examples of truly committed, Godly husband figures, are few and far between.

Mars Hill Real MarriageIf you’re serious about being a better man for your wife and your family… if you recognise there are some areas in your marriage which are less than ideal… if you want to see breakthrough in your relationship with your wife… then we strongly encourage you to watch Mars Hill’s series on marriage, titled Real Marriage. With your wife!

Covering all the key aspects of marriage from relationship, roles of husbands & wives, the real issues with pornography, God’s design for sex…  you’ll be hard-pressed not to be challenged by at least SOME of the content.

Both Antony & I have been watching the series with our wives, and have found it to be some of the best teaching on marriage that we’ve ever seen.

The “missing piece” in my view, is the way women & men are designed differently – specifically, when a Christian man takes the lead in his family (in the right Biblical context!), his Christian wife will respond accordingly… but it first needs the man to take the initiative. It can’t work in a relationship where the wife is constantly pushing / reminding / leading the husband!